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A multimedia series about perspective, pain, and 68 healing words in First Nephi.
17. Acknowledging Pain
Recognizing and admitting pain is a catalyst to overcoming it.
View the Video (7:31)
In our last get-together I outlined our limited time on earth. From an eternal perspective, that time is vanishingly short. Admittedly, though, when we are in the middle of it, that time can seem endlessly long.
Nephi understood this. He opened his story by acknowledging that his limited time on Earth included plenty of pain. But he followed that acknowledgment with one word intended to fill us with hope. That word was “nevertheless”: “… and having suffered many afflictions, nevertheless …”
By definition, that word marks a turning point in a story or life, a contrast where one event follows another and brings about change. Nephi, I believe, used it to tell us that his suffering would not define him. He knew that things were going to change for the better. Whatever came, armed with faith, he would make it through.
How did he know things would improve? Is there an end to pain? How did he deal with it? What might his conclusions mean for us?
Nephi’s inclusion of the word “nevertheless” is revealing. Some consider it to be an afterthought, an apology, or perhaps a reversal of an earlier statement. I believe that he used it to point to a new thought, a contrast emphasizing the statement that follows. In essence, he was saying, “Yeah, things happened. They hurt. But I kept going. And yeah, it was worth it.”
Sometimes we think of Nephi slogging through the daily grind, doggedly doing his duty without joy. After all, he said, “We lived after the manner of happiness,” not “We were giddeously happy-happy.” His brother Jacob echoed his feelings, adding “We did mourn out our days.”
We get a glimpse of his feelings through the words he used to finish his books. They are abrupt, even challenging, intended to nail an exclamation mark to his just-stated expectation of finding final peace in God. Writing with gritted teeth and clenched fist, as I see it, his eyes fixed on the glorious prize, he wrote, “I must obey.” And then he closed with a final “Amen”, sealing his testimony.
He acknowledged pain, recognizing it and its benefits, and determined to never cower beneath his suffering. He acknowledged the joy that comes through enduring obedience. That contrast, that “nevertheless” balancing of good and bad, action and reaction, gave him the tools to cope with and recover from his challenges, to make pain just another tool in his belt to bring him to God. And he tooled his writings to point out that path to us.
Nephi’s great hymn of faith, as we discussed in earlier sessions, illustrates his three-step path to healing: recognition, regret, and resolution. He came to realize that he was hurting, expressed remorse for his weaknesses, and committed to improve. Wisely, he appealed to others for help, sharing his troubles, allowing their listening hearts and willing hands to help ease his burdens. He added partners to his recovery tool belt, especially his all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving Heavenly Father.
He knew that there will always be a “nevertheless”. Not every moment holds hurt; not every event hides horror. Even if it is only the light turning on a blade of grass, or the unexpected kindness of a stranger, or the glimmer of a star through the bars of whatever cell encloses you, God has arranged for you to have joy, in moments small and great. It takes thought, preparation, patience, work, endurance, obedience, and perspective. And once you open yourself to that understanding and act on it, you gain keys to unlock your personal prison door and open yourself up to help, hope, and emotional healing.
If you follow the path you agreed to with your Heavenly Father before you came to Earth, you will eventually be free of pain. The promise is sure: “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” Nephi followed up his acknowledgment of afflictions by saying he had “been highly favored of the Lord.” He later added, “I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.” And he quoted his father’s famous phrase, “Men (and, of course, women) are that they might have joy.” His concluding chapters are a ringing anthem to his knowledge that God had accepted him and that he would rest in his Father’s love.
At some point, we all move past the pain. Time dulls, memory dims, new experiences overshadow, and growth strengthens perspective. No matter how much we might stumble against the hurt, time gives us new shoes, as it were, to help us on our journey. And for those whose pains follow them into death, there is the certainty, as Nephi stated, of a glorious resurrection into a pain-free life.
We tighten our laces and stride forward as it were, wiser, stronger, our shoulders broadened by hope. It is through these “nevertheless” moments that we recognize that there is something beyond our present pain, something prompting us to pivot toward an ever more promising potential.
This acknowledgment and changing of direction can lead to faith, patience, discipline, improvement, and to a recognition that, in spite of all, you are loved, protected, and highly favored. And, if you are open to it, an heir to ultimate joy.
Next time: Highly favored—by whom?
18. Highly Favored
Using the great gifts and opportunities you have been given.
View the Video (5:42)
At some point, as we discussed last time, Nephi became aware that all the astounding pain he had gone through was worth it. It changed him, giving him experience, a sense of perspective, and the kind of confidence that comes only through struggle.
When Nephi stated that he had gone through many afflictions and then added that he had “nevertheless … been highly favored”, he was contrasting his pains with the powerful blessings that resulted from faithfully enduring them. He elevates that thought further by pointing out the source of those blessings: The Lord. By adding these words, he taught us that suffering, if allowed by God, is a form of favor. Why? Because their presence shows that He trusts us to learn from the lessons bundled with pain, and that if we do what we can they will add to our joy.
What kind of lessons are you learning?
In the episode “Watered Pillows”, we learned that suffering and pain are planned parts of life. We learned that “Our Father in Heaven is a god of love, compassion and power, and His point to pain is to be a warning and schoolmaster to humble and strengthen us so we can put off the hurt and realize a fullness of joy.”
In essence, suffering prompted Nephi to peer out of his molehill and open his eyes to the glorious universe around him. His experiences cemented his knowledge that God had his back. He felt His influence, saw His works, experienced His miracles, heard His voice, and saw His angels. He discovered that all good things come from God and that his Heavenly Father had a plan for him and had been showering him with blessings his whole life, blessings that more than made up for the pain. He realized that he had been highly favored of God.
Today, we live in a highly favored time. Generally, our lives are much better than at any other time in history, with greater health, lifespan, convenience, abundance, global communications, free speech, improved pace of change, and much more. Compared with most generations, we are showered with immense gifts.
God’s purposes in granting us these gifts are the same for granting them to Nephi: to deepen our understanding of Him, our gratitude for His plan, and our desire to become like Him.
But we must take proper advantage of them. Our modern gifts are as providential as anything Nephi received, but we often take them for granted because they are so common. Because they are just given to us, we have a hard time recognizing God’s voice in them, His hand in our daily miracles, and His presence in the feelings that result. Daily, simply seeking Him opens our hearts to His presence.
God and his purposes are always good. No matter how poor our choices may be, He always honors our intelligence and the power of our free will. As such, like any father, He is grateful when His children independently choose to follow the paths He outlines.
To help us find those paths, he constantly encourages us forward, even though it may take pain to catch our attention. Keep your focus on what He wants no matter what happens, on doing your best so that others may “see your good works and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.” In life’s gradual development process, use your experiences to take upon yourself His peace, wisdom, meekness, patience, humility, love for work, and love. They strengthen your ability to scale ever-higher peaks of learning leading to greater joy, peace, healing and power and an eventual place in His kingdom. Though this process we become like Him, step by step, able to accept and receive His presence.
Next time, we will contrast the differences between being highly favored of men and being highly favored of the Lord.
19. Mounds of Sand
Lifetime priorities and opportunities.
View the Video (5:38)
Along with all of his lifelong servings of struggles, Nephi got extra helpings of blessings. He said he had been favored; not only that, but highly favored. Not only that, but highly favored of the Lord. If we define “favored” as receiving special notice or gifts, how did he qualify to get those? Could you? Let’s see how we can qualify for our own “extra helpings” of blessings.
Nephi’s father, Lehi, gave his sons a life-threatening task. His elder brothers resisted and grumbled. Nephi said, “I will go and do.” Lehi promised him that he would be favored of the Lord. Why? Because, as Lehi said, “thou hast not murmured”.
We know that God is a god of love and that He loves all equally, without condition. Even so, we know that He bestowed powerful gifts on many of his children while refusing them to others, like Moses parting the Red Sea while the Egyptian army drowned, Elisha blinding an entire army, and Noah and his family being saved while everyone else died. How can an impartial God allow some people to be so clearly favored?
Carlos C. Revillo answered this question. He began by asking, “In what ways does the Lord favor the righteous?
“We know that our Heavenly Father loves all of His children and wishes all to become like Him. Further, all men are saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel. God has made the sun to shine on the evil and on the good and the rains to fall on the just and on the unjust. He is ‘no respecter of persons’.
“Yet those who seek to do Heavenly Father’s will He favors by blessing them for their obedience. The Lord has declared, ‘Them that honour me I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed’.
“The God of heaven has never made covenants that are independent of obedience and righteousness. He has said, ‘I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise’.
“Traveling to the promised land was as difficult for Nephi and his family as for Laman and his family. All endured hunger, heat, privation, and fatigue. Yet the outcome of the experiences was very different for the two families. One was blessed with faith, understanding, and a living testimony while the other remained unmoved and unchanged.
“The blessings will be realized by those who are obedient.”
We have many blessings today. But often extra helpings of some blessings, like money, time and fame, are not true blessings at all but barriers that keep us from finding God. Compared to honors we can receive from Him, secular blessings can actually be quite trivial. Neal A. Maxwell said, “Some who laboriously scale the secular heights find, after all, that they are only squatting atop a small mound of sand!”
No person was more favored of God than the Savior. How did He earn that favor? By doing what God wanted. For every miracle he performed and every life He changed, Christ gave His Father all the credit and glory. He gave Him His heart, might, mind, and strength and ultimately endured unimaginable pain and death, all because His father asked Him to. As a result, Jesus was exalted on high. He guides every life and stands with open arms, hoping and willing to heal, forgive, cleanse, strengthen, purify and sanctify us. That, my friends, is favor.
He tells, shows, strengthens, and rewards us, all to help us overcome our challenges and qualify to live a life similar to His. He fills us with His love, life, and guidance. He promises positive results that flow from following Him. You call and He hears, you ask and He answers. All we have to do is what He asks. Even though He does not always ask easy things of us, what He asks is for our benefit. Obedience prepares our hearts and minds to receive those extra helpings of favor.
Next time, let’s talk about how you can make this joy a daily part of your life.
20. All My Days
Swinging the arc of of your life from problems to solutions.
View the Video (7:41)
Nephi’s learning and faith led him to do remarkable things, as we touched on last time, the knowledge of which influences us today. Let’s take a look at his work, the 2,600-year-old, life-changing history he wrote for our day.
About 30 years after the events in the beginning of the Book of Mormon, the Lord inspired Nephi to create a record of God’s impact in his life. To obey God’s command, to help his children learn from his successes and failures, and to serve as a warning to future generations, he wrote down his story, engraving the words on metal plates that had the appearance of gold. A wise request, seeing that God intended to preserve them for centuries.
As Nephi aged and his kingdom became more settled, he commanded officials to continue keeping records. His descendants obeyed that command for a thousand years. As that civilization neared its end, a leader named Mormon reviewed all their history and massaged it into one manageable volume. With help from his son Moroni, he engraved the result onto other plates, making a durable and invaluable summary.
Moroni eventually buried those plates. This same Moroni, in fulfillment of biblical prophecies, appeared to a young boy named Joseph Smith 1,400 years later and showed him where the plates were buried. With God’s help, Joseph acquired, translated and published that record, creating what we now know as the Book of Mormon. It is now available in print and electronic form in many languages. The book laid the foundation for the restoration of God’s ancient church in modern times, a church not affiliated with or having doctrinal or direct historical ties to any other faith or creed.
Today, tens of thousands of missionaries and many millions of followers across the globe spread the book’s message of love, healing, salvation, peace, power, and good will, making those golden plates worth far more than gold to people everywhere.
I sometimes wonder if our own journals could have the same impact. Nephi emphasized that the purpose of his writing was “for the learning and the profit of my children”. His brother Jacob added that the people labored diligently to keep their records, “hoping that our beloved brethren and our children will receive them with thankful hearts, and look upon them that they may learn with joy and not with sorrow, neither with contempt, concerning their first parents. For, for this intent have we written these things, that they may know that we knew of Christ, and we had a hope of his glory”
Thumbing through your ancestors’ photo albums helps you connect with them. Your record could have the same effect. Your children could turn the pages of your own history and view your stories, perhaps learning from them where they came from, how they can improve, what they should avoid, or how get through their own lives.
A modern prophet, Spencer W. Kimball, said, ““People often use the excuse that their lives are uneventful and nobody would be interested in what they have done. But I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to your families, to your children, your grandchildren, and others, on through the generations… “Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies.”
Centuries ago, Nephi followed that counsel and created his own record. From him, we learn sacred and essential things.
Next time we’ll take a look at where the Book of Mormon’s power comes from, starting with its remarkable first two words.
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